how fuck n mess up my life even do I always said I'm tired with ever crap that is happening, there still a small portion said I won't trade it with a million bucks... because in between the hardship of life I have found wonderful people and story of my own...my story of life ....Alhamdulillah.....but then I'm still hurt mix up with happy... 

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a choice to choose......                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         the minority loose, identity was sold, a soul was badly injured could be gone could be dead..... pe org nk tengok kita bgi...in kn pentas dunia semua org mengjangka buruk maka buruk seseorg itu dimatanya.... yg baik dh lme hilang.....welcoming the game ripper since I lost in the world of gamble my trust was trash.... and the little amount of a good side was sold 

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I found myself in some pathetic life where I lost everything right now.... as I fuck up everything....I miss so much everything mostly the people before this life happen...the life of the past couple of nights until tonight I don't know how to react...... please give me a hint....please......please I'm not good with words and I can't read ur mind as I can't even read my..... please....please because I starting to given up and left everything if everyone thinks its the best.... 

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SOS

"S.O.S."

Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
I'm shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?
Listening

I've been stranded here and I'm miles away
Making signals hoping they'd save me
I lock myself inside these walls
'Cause out there I'm always wrong
I don't think I'm gonna make it
So while I'm sitting here
On the eve of my defeat
I'll write this letter and hope it saves me

I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away
Would anybody notice if I chose to stay?
I'll send an SOS tonight
Wonder if I will survive
How in the hell did I get so far away this time
So now I'm sitting here
The time of my departure's near
I say a prayer
Please someone save me

I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding on to everything I know
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help

Is anybody listening?
Can you hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?

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Ranjau liku

its been too long hidup bedikari atas kaki sendiri hempedu ditelan kaca disimpan gelap cerah perjalanan redah tampa dikenal ranjau berliku dihadapan umor sejengkal tpi terasa mcm berabad perjalanan....sejujurnya ak dah tak mampu teguh bediri kaki baik buruk dh xde beza sbb semua lihat ak tampa mata... an tahu hanya tuhan mmpu menilai kita tpi hakikat ak manusia kilaf penuh hitam dri putih... ak naz..nurrul nazira 

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Ya Allah ak be nazar seandai urusanku pd permulaan pembelajaran ku di permudahkn ak akan Cuba apa yg terdaya me no long mereke yg akan masuk k tempt ni sebagai mne kau telah permudahkn untuk Ku amin

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Ya Allah Ak akui me ng ak langsung jauh dari mu.. ak xreti nk redakn kemarahan dlm hati.. sejujur ak tak tahu dah dmana tempt ku.. ak tahu kau mendengar isi hati Ku...ak perlukn mu dalm hidup Dan matiku... yaAllah jangan kau tinggalkn ak

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ko beri peluang untk merasai bnde yg ak x mengerti..
ko memberi ku peluang untuk ku temui pe yg ak x pasti...
ko beri ku peluang untuk segalana-galanya
ade kala ak luntuh ya Allah dgn ujian mu...
dikala ak x memahami ko memberi bila aku
cuba mengerti kau menarik yaAllah... ak jdi keliru dn buntu dgn kerja mu ya Allah
berdoas bgi ku memprsoalkn nya...tpi hakikat ak masih keliru yaAllah
keliru dgn diri ku....

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"In Greek, “nostalgia” literally means “the pain from an old wound”. It’s a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone. This device isn’t a spaceship, it’s a time machine. It takes us to a place where we ache to go to again. One of the strange things about living is that, there is only the now, but we all seem to be wrapped up in the past and wander aimlessly in the present, yet we always wanders about the future" -Anatasia R.-

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Freaking out badly... with my family pressuring and to add icing to the cake my friends and senior is acting like an ass adding up my anxiety.. thank you so much making me fell bad for myself and lack of confidence level shit.....

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teenage crisis to an adult crisis who would know im not that ready for the world.. as i though i'm ready 100% but then i should be ready 210% for the world.... but hey alhamdulillah i'm still a live and kicking ass... so im not saying im staying in long but definitely i will eventually walk out... i don't do thing without taking a deep thought...it kills me a lot..... for now need to find away

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Government clinic

So I haven been to this place 4 years.. being here for my own purpose lahkn.. sekarng selalu hantar ma Jew appointment doc baagai...banyak perubahan kat sini... terlalu bnyak.. de jugak akk nurse yg ak jmpe dari Kecik masa umo 8 9 tahun sekarang ak pun dh sumo 22... huiii~ dulu xramai abah mcm skunk..dulu nk wat medical checkup xyah ada appointment bagai sekarng dh ade...SBB ramai sngat doctor tu ckp.... tmpat x-ray dah maju alat Bru... kalau k.leha xde xtahu nk wat mcm mne.... ak ni terlalu bergantung pada org... hurmm...

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As hell I'm freakout scared....everything in one...xrancang bnde langsung..... nak xnak kena fikir...idup bedikari kawkaw punya...humble dalam keegoan respect org Lain.. men up suit up dude..... for once this month seandai de segelintir harapan permudahkn lay perjalanan ini

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change your words change your world....

I put less on an effort now because I know I can't achieve it or i'm give up on it.... either way i'm trying..

hard enough??
nope i'm too blind in the pain... even do its not my place to say such a word that I can't compare to others who live in much pain than i am but for this time I live through my own pain....

a hand??
when we become much older less hand is pulling us up than the hand push us down.. too many ignorance since everyone is blind by their own life and always thinks their life is good enough then others...

people can always preach but less people leads...more people are giving up because less people are patience enough to care...

in real life there are no third chance because we are not practice baseball.
the third strike then you are OUT...

they always say "why should i stay while they didn't have the willing to change."
so the best question is how do you know they aren't?? how do you know what written inside their mind or their hearts?? or how may hard they are battling their own thought every second when they are awake and nightmare they have to encounter when they are a sleep...
Do we ever count that?? we always seen the big issues of life but we forget the little part of it.... but do remember before something gets big it started with something small

everybody wanted what their hearts desire for people to understand what they are or who they are..but people often forget about it and started to labeling and ignore the sinister in their sine as far for those people say "let them be in their land....and vanish in our life thought they are not our brother nor sister as they are far from our belief"

so wrong of people to easily judge others when they doesn't like to be judge.... the world we are living now if full of bullshit and all....fasten your seatbelts there will be bumpy ride for a happy life that you dream for.....

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